Pathway to Healing Grief.

A Pathway to Healing Grief.

Grief is a profound and complex emotion, a reaction felt upon the loss of a loved one—most notably so when that loved one is a spouse. 

The emotional energy experienced by a grieving spouse can be a heavy burden yet an often unprepared for and often a misunderstood concept. Exploring this emotional energy not only provides insight into the anguish and turmoil associated with loss but also sheds light on the slow yet transformative journey toward wholeness.

To begin:it is essential to grasp what emotional energy is  Emotional energy is the intensity of feelings that arise in response to significant life events, such as the death of a  spouse/partner/ relative. This life -energy can encompass a wide spectrum—ranging from deep sorrow and anger to ongoing moments of joy in reminiscence. For many, particularly those in the depths of grief, emotional energy tends to feel overwhelmingly negative. The loss of a spouse can ignite a torrent of emotions that can be difficult to articulate; feelings of shock, emptiness, and despair often surge within. 

For the grieving spouse, each recollection can seem like a double-edged sword—invoking warmth and comfort while simultaneously reawakening sorrow 

These moments capture the overwhelming emotional energy that floods through grieving spouses, illuminating the sense of disorientation and loss of identity that can follow such a profound change.

In addition to the immediate emotional turmoil, grieving spouses may also experience a sort of cascading emotional energy—a repeatedly resurfacing wave of grief that impacts various facets of their lives. For instance, simple tasks like grocery shopping or attending social events can be overwhelming.It was like walking on a tightrope, balancing between wanting to move forward and being pulled back into the past.This sentiment resonates widely with those experiencing grief; the emotional energy may  switch between paralysis and mobilisation, making the journey through mourning particularly challenging.

 The reality is that grief is not linear, declining overall with time  but is utterly frameless or amorphous. Research suggests that individuals may cycle through different stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—often returning to previous stages without warning. This fluidity can create confusion, leading grieving spouses to question themselves  and whether their feelings are 'normal'.

 I learned to navigate this confusion in time. I discovered the importance of acknowledging my feelings rather than  ignoring or suppressing them, even when i was out and about. Recognising that it was acceptable to feel joy while simultaneously experiencing pain.

I thought that if I smiled or laughed, it meant I was moving on and leaving her behind. But then I realised that enjoying a moment doesn’t erase the love I continue to hold for her.

Another significant aspect of understanding emotional energy in grief is the relationship to time. For many grieving spouses, the initial months following the loss can feel like an avalanche of emotional experiences, where each day seems harder than the previous. The first year,I would describe as a mighty "roller coaster."

 However,day by day, I began to recognise shifts in the waves of sorrow, albeit fierce, began to ebb. This slow process captures the broader narrative of healing: that it is utterly natural for grieving individuals to experience a gradual shift in their emotional energy as they adjust to life without their partner.

Employing coping mechanisms can facilitate this transition from overwhelming grief to a more manageable emotional state. Many find peace in establishing rituals or setting up tribute displays to honour their partner's memory; creating meaningful experiences can serve as a bridge between past and present. Such acts of remembrance provide a means of honouring lost love while also allowing for personal reflection, ultimately offering a sense of empowerment that fosters continuity and healing.

Additionally, the role of community and support systems cannot be overstated. I gained considerable attention from others, even from earnest, empathic strangers. This seems to mirror ideas of others, when grieving, informing them  of the loss creates  a connection  which can be instrumental in the healing process. 

A life- affirming process  as storytelling can be, it offers acknowledgement and fosters a supportive environment for emotional energy as  part of significant life-events and  memories to be expressed and enjoyed.

 The sharing of life- events,such as the grief and emotional  energy whereby others relate softens the fierce emotions that can arise.

Stories of love-lost, deep distress and grief foster growth including  comprehension in the community at large . From individual loss to national disasters, storytelling comprise the offsetting of negative energy thus providing the amelioration of loss in the  personal to wider community. 

My belief is that although time heals, love and unconditional care heals more successfully.

 

(Opinion and further research by Digital Anvil )